Lately it seems that, no matter what the topic, the essential issue is someone trying desperately to control someone else. The struggle between dominance and submission lies at the heart of many conflicts, both personal and political. I think it has always been so, but still as a society we seem to be at some fevered pitch.
Parents attempt to control children; men to control women; conservatives to control liberals; husbands to control wives; old to control young; police to control nonwhites, and white Christians to control absolutely everyone.
Everybody wants to have absolute say in the lives of others. We want to control who lives where; who speaks and on what topic; who gets educated; who works at what job, and how much they will be allowed to earn; who sleeps with whom; how their children are treated; how they vote; what they buy; how long they live, and what happens to them when they die.
We seem so desperately in need of controlling the excruciating details of others’ lives, and I suspect I know why. It’s because we are shrinking in fear from the awareness of our own lack of control over ourselves and our lives. We deny the yawning abyss of chaos by putting a boot in the face of our neighbor.
It just feels good to force others to the wheel. Feels like … victory. It costs nothing and adds a glossy sugar coating of self-righteousness. And if you can employ the power of government, the threat of damnation or the command of a hoard of anonymous haters to enforce your delusion, so much the better.
Here’s the part some people will never understand: real control is self-control, and it can never be forced or taken away. My self-control isn’t perfect, but at least it’s there. I feel its force. I appreciate its value. There is nothing that society can do to make me persecute any designated group of others; nothing the church can say that will make me bow to their dictates; no custom or tradition strong enough to make me turn my back on a friend; and no piece of legislation that can force me to treat my fellow human beings as anything less than that.
I deny anyone and everyone control over my mind, my soul or my conscience. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about that. I find it confounding when you even try. It just goes to show how little you understand about the true nature of power and control.