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Fallow

FALLOW—usually cultivated land that is allowed to lie idle during the growing season; the tilling of land without sowing it for a season

Recently I addressed the question of what I’m doing in retirement and gave my best answer. While it remains my best answer, though, it’s not the only answer. I’ve embraced a number of responses to that question, and each has been true in its own way. So here is another answer.

I am lying fallow.

I’m not withdrawing from the land of the living. I’m not giving up or growing moss, despite any reports to the contrary. I’m just resisting the occasional free-floating anxiety that tells me I should be Doing Something. I deserve to stop. I can afford to spend time listening to the silence. I consider it time well invested.

I do expect to continue making meaningful contributions in this world. I’m not yet ready to resign myself to the rocker, again despite appearances. Something is happening, somewhere deep inside. A synthesis of some sort is underway, and while I can’t yet distinguish its final form and meaning, I can tell that something new is definitely coming.

So don’t count me out yet. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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